


Those Lost

by BleedingDeath



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gen, Hurt, Reflection, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 14:46:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4709822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleedingDeath/pseuds/BleedingDeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Doyle's heroic sacrifice, Kimball is left with nothing but regrets after evacuating the city and returning to the crash site.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Those Lost

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place before Kimball gives her speech.

He was dead. There was a time not so long ago when she had wished for it, but she didn't expect it to actually happen. Not like this. Not now. She knew it wasn't her fault and yet she still felt guilty for it. She had told him that sometimes you have to sacrifice yourself and that's exactly what he did. Why had she ever called him a coward?

Sure, he wasn't the bravest person she ever knew, but in the end he had done what he needed to do, what any good leader would've done. He'd been brave. He saved their lives. As she paced the room, she could only feel regret. With knowledge that the war had all been a sham, she still had treated him like the enemy. She couldn't put years of war and hatred and loss aside long enough to just hear him out, to see him as he was, not an enemy, but an ally.

But she had been too stubborn, to hateful to forgive, to understand. She had lost friends, but so had he. He never asked to be in the position he was in. He wasn't a good leader, but he tried. Hell, he had even tried to set aside their differences and move passed things when she wouldn't. She treated him like shit and yet he still died for everyone.

What had she done? She belittled him, yelled at him, insulted him. She had treated him like he wasn't a person. Less than human. He had deserved more of her, even if she didn't like him, she could've treated him with some decency. She was the real monster. It's easy to blame others when it comes to war, easier than realizing everyone you're against is just as human, just as scared.

Doyle had been many things, and after he died is when she realized he hadn't been anything she imagined. She had always thought of him as the leader of the army who killed the people she cared for, but if anything he was more human than she was. If only she hadn't been so stubborn, if she had just said something different, did things differently, then maybe, just maybe he wouldn't be dead right now.

She had just been so damn angry, so blind. When he had tossed the sword just to live she had been furious. If he had died then though, Felix would have gotten control of the sword much sooner. Maybe things would've been over for them then, maybe living another day had been the best plan of action. He was right when he said she was too quick to die for her cause, but she just wanted something better. A better life for her people and for war to finally come to an end.

So many had lost their lives already, why add more? All she wanted was for the killing to stop and instead she only caused more. It was her fault Doyle was dead. He should never have listened. He shouldn't have...

She hit the wall.

She should've been able to do something, but she couldn't. There wasn't time and they had to leave or risk dying too. It should've been her. But Doyle trusted her to be able to get the job done, and she would see that through no matter what. She would do it for him, for everyone. They would win this war.

"Alright... Let's do this."


End file.
